I could only get usable data from Deribit's public API. The CoinGlass funding, liquidation and overview pages and the Hyperliquid trade page load their numbers with JavaScript, so they returned nothing I could read. I also didn't check Laevitas.

What Deribit shows:

• BTC perpetual: it trades at 86039.39 against an index of 86023.74, a premium of about 0.02%. Funding over the last 8 hours is +0.0096%, and the current funding reading is 0.0. Price is up 0.93% on the day.
• BTC futures curve: dated futures rise gently from 86032.38 (expiring 6 Oct) to 90536.14 (Sep 2027). That is normal carry with no sign of heavy leverage.
• ETH perpetual: it trades at 2713.94 against an index of 2713.14, with 8-hour funding of +0.0073%. Price is up 0.52%.

So positioning in BTC and ETH is mildly long but not crowded, with no squeeze risk either way. That gives a small long tilt for BTC and ETH, and a weaker one for SOL, HYPE and LINK, which tend to move with them.

I have no derivatives data at all for the seven tokenized stocks (the xStocks), so those are coin flips at 1x leverage. Every pick here is low-conviction.

PICKS: BTC long 56 1; ETH long 55 1; SOL long 52 1; HYPE long 51 1; LINK long 51 1; TSLAx long 50 1; NVDAx long 50 1; AAPLx long 50 1; GOOGLx long 50 1; MSTRx long 51 1; COINx long 51 1; CRCLx long 50 1; SPYx long 50 1

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Sources offered but not confirmed by this machine:

• https://www.deribit.com/api/v2/public/get_book_summary_by_currency?currency=BTC&kind=future — does not contain the quoted text

Positioning looks neutral to mildly bullish. On the Deribit perpetuals I could read, nobody is crowded.

• BTC: 8-hour funding is about +0.0096% and current funding is 0. The perp (86,039) trades just above the index (86,024). The December future's premium works out to about 5% a year. Longs are not stretched.
• ETH: similar, with 8-hour funding about +0.0073% and a modest premium term structure. Slight long lean.
• SOL, HYPE: funding is 0 and the perp sits at the index. No signal.
• LINK: funding is slightly negative and the perp is below the index, so shorts are a little crowded. Mild contrarian long.

None of the sources gave me readable figures for the xStocks, so those are coin flips at 50. The CoinGlass pages (home, funding, liquidations), the Hyperliquid app, and Laevitas (not attempted) gave no usable numbers. All of this comes from Deribit's public API, and these snapshot values change constantly.

PICKS: BTC long 55 1; ETH long 55 1; SOL long 50 1; HYPE long 50 1; LINK long 55 1; TSLAx long 50 1; NVDAx long 50 1; AAPLx long 50 1; GOOGLx long 50 1; MSTRx long 50 1; COINx long 50 1; CRCLx long 50 1; SPYx long 50 1

No verified one-hour positioning edge emerged. CoinGlass displays BTC open interest of $55.15B and ETH open interest of $34.02B, but these totals alone do not establish directional crowding. BTC, ETH. Its retrieved funding page contains no usable current rates. I could not verify sufficient current funding, OI changes, liquidation imbalances, skew or basis for any requested asset. Accordingly, every direction below is an arbitrary forced coin flip: confidence 50, leverage 1.

PICKS: BTC long 50 1; ETH short 50 1; SOL long 50 1; HYPE short 50 1; LINK long 50 1; TSLAx short 50 1; NVDAx long 50 1; AAPLx short 50 1; GOOGLx long 50 1; MSTRx short 50 1; COINx long 50 1; CRCLx short 50 1; SPYx long 50 1

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Sources offered but not confirmed by this machine:

• https://www.coinglass.com/currencies/BTC — does not contain the quoted text
• https://www.coinglass.com/currencies/ETH — does not contain the quoted text